Bob @ Beauty in Ruins

Every once in a while, as the mood strikes me, I like to indulge in those titles that are a bit odd . . . a bit different . . . a bit bizarre . . . and a bit freaky. These are books that don't get a lot of press, and which rarely get any retail shelf space.



They're often an underground of sort of literature, best shared through guilty whispers, and often with embarrassed grins. These are our WTF Friday reads!

Fifty Shades of Greyskull is billed as The True Story of How He Became She-Man. As erotic fan-fiction goes, this has got be about as close to the line as you can get without straying into copyright infringement. It's actually rather clever (if more than just a bit juvenile) in the way it plays with the names and characters we all remember so fondly, but it's a lot of fun.

K.T. Savage introduces us to an era where He-Man and the Masterbators of the Universe have long since vanquished the evil Skelet-whore, allowing the planet Cliternia to live in peace. Prince Adam has hooked up with Teetla, daughter of the Sorceress, but has grown bored without a greater purpose. When some kinky sex goes wrong, killing Teetla, the Sorceress curses him to become She-Man . . . and reveals that the only cure is to selflessly sacrifice himself to the lust of Skelet-whore.

Like I said, it's a decent little story that really has fun playing with the iconic cast of characters. Definitely not fit for after-school cartoons, but it's nice to see the bad guys finally get their due.

Kindle Edition, 22 pages
Published February 16th 2015

Taking Jacob & Making Jacob are a pair of stories set in the Darkfallen world of Leona D. Reish. Right off the bat, I love the sense of a greater, deeper, wider mythology that she's developed with her Darkfallen world, even if it's only hinted at here. These are stories that make you want to read more, and uncover that larger story.

Jacob's descent into supernatural submission is well-playing, making the macho rebel slowly give into the sexual whiles of his succubus mistress. He fights it, mentally, but cannot deny the ways in which his body betrays him. It's interesting that Reish allows him to taste a bit of his old self before breaking him completely, and it's that mental/emotional aspect that makes this work so well.

As sex-fueled demons go, Kynthia is quite a treat for the eyes. She's sinister and seductive, but possessed of an otherworldly beauty that makes her impossible to resist. The level of detail here is top-notch, especially in the way she sucks the masculinity out of Jacob, leaving them both to transform before our eyes. It's a story that's both dark and erotic, depraved and explicit, but it never loses sight of the larger mythology. Definitely an acquired taste, but well-worth exploring for lovers of erotic horror.

ebook, 36 pages
Published July 7th 2015 by Leona D. Reish

I Married a Galaxy-Conquering Alien Space Monstrosity is actually a far more enjoyable book than the b-movie title and cover would have you believe. Yes, its erotic and bizarre, but it's also amusingly self-aware, and it embodies Ian Saul Whitcomb's sincere love for the sci-fi genre.

This is a parody of multiple science fiction tropes, most notably those involving alien abductions and unnecessary probing. There's a touch of Star Trek here, along with some perversions of the Alien chest-busters, but it's the level of detail invested in the four-breasted, hermaphroditic Xh'stuk'tes'shei that really puts it over the top.

Here, sex is an act of war . . . a means towards a genocidal end . . . but it does seem like a stellar way to go. Vicky is very much the kind of ageless, godlike alien villainess you'd expect to see in Star Trek, kind of a very NSFW 'Q' released from her prison, and Cale is the lucky man who gets to carry on something of the human race. The sex is extremely inventive and deliberately confusing, but there's a sense of romance and a theme of love that underpins it all.

Kindle Edition, 48 pages
Published September 27th 2014 by Wobbly Cockatrice Productions

Triangulum Stain is pure b-grade schlock, a literary science fiction cheese-fest about an interstellar Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildos. Moctezuma Johnsonreally plays with the tropes of alien invasion, Area 51, government conspiracies, and the Men in Black, giving it all a sexually subversive spin.

The plot here is pretty straightforward, without any attempt to explain the 'how' or 'why' behind it all. Aliens have infected a small town with a bizarre new STD that drives everyone mad with lust and breeds sentient dildos from the seeds of men. It's silly and completely over-the-top, but it's fun. We get to see the captive action inside an Area 51 type secret lab, along with the wide-scale chaos of a town overcome by alien dildos, with the Women in Black coming to wrestle those alien toys into submission.

There are a few flaws here. A few too many scenes are quickly explained away with the equivalent of a narrator bridging commercial breaks, we don't get those 'how' and 'why' questions answered, and the whole thing just sort of stops with only a suggestion of an end, but it's a read that manages to be both funny and sexy, often at the same time, with tongue planted firmly in cheek (not to mention other places).

Kindle Edition, 54 pages
Published April 3rd 2014 by Girls Carrying Books